I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
