I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
