Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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