oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
