something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
