I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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