We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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