The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
