i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
