Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
