i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
