i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
