Where is the hickey?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
