is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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