he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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