Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
