eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
