I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
