Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
