You really coming over, don't trick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
