I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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