Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
