he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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