i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
