im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
