And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
