thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
