Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I need to align my fucking chakras
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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