Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
