OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
