with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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