she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
