no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
