I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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