i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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