hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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