you win again, gameday.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
