Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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