i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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