yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
