Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
