last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
