So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
