My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
