Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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