they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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