she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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