Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
