The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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