This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My first STD was from a foam party
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
