It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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