Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
