Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
