ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
